Episode 6 - Coping with Covid-19: The importance of Self-Care
Self-Care
Self-care is a broad term that covers just about anything you to do be good to yourself. It’s about being as kind to yourself as you would be to others. Self-care can feel tough at first because it involves integrating self-compassion into your life in a way that helps to prevent even the possibility of a burnout. It’s partly about knowing when your resources are running low and stepping back to replenish them rather than letting them all drain away. When we are depleted by physical and emotional exhaustion, we are all less able to handle the stresses that come our way. When we practice self-care regularly and we are feeling our best both physically and emotionally, we are more resilient and more able to handle life's daily challenges. The thing about self-care is that unfortunately, it often get very neglected. Many of us have so many responsibilities in life that we forget to take care of our personal needs. Taking time out to maintain self-care has several benefits:
It Affects Your Physical Health
You may not realize it but regularly taking care of yourself can have so many benefits for your long-term health. Practicing self-care can help to prevent chronic stress from damaging your health. Better self-care often comes fewer colds, cases of flu and upset stomachs. Less stress and a better immune system can surely help you feel more physically able and strong inside and out.
It Affects Your Emotional Health
People who neglect their own needs and forget to nurture themselves are at danger of deeper levels of unhappiness, low self-esteem, and feelings of resentment. Taking time out to care for yourself is an important reminder to you and others that you and your needs are important, too. Having a well-cared-for body can make you feel good about yourself and your life, and conveys to others that you value yourself. This can contribute to long-term feelings of well-being.
Enhanced self-esteem
When you regularly carve out time that’s only about being good to yourself and meeting your own needs, you send a positive message to your subconscious. Specifically, you treat yourself like you matter and have intrinsic value. This can go a long way toward discouraging negative self-talk and your critical inner voice.
More to give
People who spend their time only taking care of others get burned out on all the giving, which makes it more difficult to care for others or themselves. Taking time to care for yourself regularly can make you a better caretaker for others. When you’re good to yourself, you might think you’re being selfish but in truth, self-care gives you the resources you need to be there for others, to be patient, kind, and compassionate. Giving compassion is a bit like filling a bucket; you can’t fill someone else’s if you don’t have enough of your own. When you’re on an airplane they always instruct you to put your oxygen mask on before helping someone. You have to take care of yourself and ensure you can breathe to save anyone else.
Increased self-knowledge
Practicing self-care requires thinking about what you really love to do. Figuring out what makes you feel passionate and inspired can help you understand yourself a lot better and where you want to invest your time and energy. Do you want to go out with a friend tonight or do you need time to stay in and recuperate? Do you have the time to help your family member with an errand or do you need to leave time in your schedule for your own needs? Being aware of where and how we want to spend our precious time and energy can even spark changes in our lives. When we let go of a toxic friend we create room for someone who can add positive value to our lives. We can re-prioritization of where we choose to spend our energy.
I recently did an online retreat for through Nora McInerny (the host of the podcast: Terrible, Thanks For Asking) and there was a session that called us to reflect on the things we want for our life. Then, it asked us to list all the things we do that add to achieving those life goals and things that we do that takes energy away from those goals.
Types of self-care
There are many different self-care practices, and not all of them suit everyone. Some types of self-care I’m going to explore today are sensory, physical, emotional, spiritual, and social.
Sensory
Sensory self-care is all about helping to calm your mind.
When you are able to tune into the details of the sensations all around you, it’s easier to live in the present moment. And when you’re in the present, you can more effectively let go of resentments related to the past or anxieties about the future.
When you think about practicing sensory self-care, consider all of your senses: touch, smell, sound, and sight.
Most people are more responsive to one than the others, so ask yourself what that sense might be for you.
The following examples of sensory self-care involve at least one sense, but often more.
Sensory Self-Care Ideas
Cuddling up under a soft blanket.
Going outside or opening a window and focusing on the smell of the air.
Watching the flames of a candle or a fire.
Feeling the water on your skin during a hot bath or shower.
Focusing on the movements of your own breathing.
Lying down and listening to music with your eyes closed.
Sitting in the heat of the afternoon sun.
Having a something you love to eat.
Walking barefoot.
Using essential oils.
Rubbing lotion of yout
Holding a pet in your arms.
Emotional
When it comes to your emotional health, one of the best self-care tips is to make sure you fully engage with your emotions. Facing painful and uncomfortable emotions helps reduce chronic stress and other serious problems from developing in the long term. I know it can be very challenging to sit with your difficult emotions, but that’s what we need to do. We need to sit with them and feel it until it subsides, and trust me, one day it will subside. No matter what you’re feeling remind yourself that emotions are not “good” or “bad”, they just are. I used to hate the phrase “It is what it is” but now it’s one of my favorites because it takes away the judgments and let’s me just exist.
You may feel tempted to push down feelings like sadness or anger. Or maybe you’re even afraid or hesitant to express yourself so you try to hide how you feel, down-play or ignore your needs because you don’t want to upset someone else. I know I am guilty of that.
I noticed that because of my childhood trauma, I was compulsively trying to constantly please everyone around me in fear of doing the wrong thing and upsetting them. Growing up there was no validation or room for my physical and emotional needs, so I continued to suppress them for a long time. Constantly ignoring my needs and desires became detrimental over time and as a young adult, I ran into a lot of problems: cognitively, physically, financially, and emotionally.
Feeling our feelings allows us to accept them and move on. So what exactly does “feeling emotions effectively” mean? It means not part taking in destructive behaviors like self-harm, compulsive shopping, eating disorders, avoidance, or lashing out towards others, to name a few.
On this theme, consider any one or more of the following if you want to practice better emotional self-care…
Emotional Self-Care Ideas
Keep a daily journal and be totally honest about your feelings.
Write a list of “feeling words” to expand your emotional vocabulary.
Make time to be with a friend or family member who truly understands you.
Assert your boundaries when someone mistreats you.
Let yourself cry when you need to.
Deliberately encourage yourself to laugh with memes or funny videos.
Sing along to the song that best expresses your current emotions.
Find an activity that helps relieve anger and frustration such as working out, throwing or kicking a ball around,
Consider seeing a therapist and exploring a path of recovery and self-growth.
Pick up a self-care help book that relates to something that you’re struggling with.
The importance of self-care definitely extends to purely physical aspects of your health. Physical activity is vital not only for your bodily well-being but also for helping you let off steam.
Physical Self-Care Ideas
Make healthy eating choices.
Try to decrease detrimental behaviors like smoking or excessive drinking.
Dance to your favorite songs.
Do a face mask or hair treatment.
Paint your nails, scrub your feet down.
Do yoga or follow an at home workout.
Stretch when you wake up and go to bed.
Go for a walk or run.
In addition, remember that physical self-care is as much about the things you don’t do as the things you do!
Set yourself healthy boundaries and realistic goals
Nap when you need to. Just 20 minutes can make you feel mentally and physically refreshed.
Say “no” to invitations when you’re simply too tired to enjoy them.
Don’t push yourself to do your exercise routine when you’re run down or unwell.
Commit to 7-9 hours of sleep per night, barring exceptional circumstances.
Spiritual
Spiritual self-care isn’t just about being religious. Spiritual self-care is about getting in touch with your values and what really matters to you. for depression often stress that developing a sense of purpose is vital to your recovery. Below are some versatile examples that can help you with this.
Spiritual Self-Care Ideas
Keep a daily meditation or mindfulness practice.
Attend a service or gathering, whether it is religious or related to a hobby or interest.
Read poetry.
Walk in nature and reflecting on the beauty around you.
Make a daily list of 5-10 things that make you feel grateful.
Be creative, whether through art, music, or writing.
Make a list of 5-10 things that make you feel alive, then ask yourself how you can better incorporate these things into your life.
Say affirmations that ground your sense of self and purpose. Affirmations remind us of our value and help us to validate our feelings and needs.
Go searching for inspiration in a magazine. Build Pinterest boards that reflect your goals, hobbies, and passions!
Social
Finally, let’s talk about a crucial aspect of self-care, especially now: connecting with others and being social. The amount and type of interactions will look differently depending on whether you’re an introvert or extrovert, but either way, connecting with other people is necessary for happiness. Given our current need to practice social distancing, it’s definitely tough to navigate and maintain our previous normal amount of social contact. Staying in touch during this lock-down can help us combat loneliness and isolation. Keep in mind, that social self-care isn’t about just doing things with others for the sake of it, but about choosing to do things with people who really make you feel good.
Social Self-Care Ideas
If you have access to it, use technology to stay in touch. If you have a smartphone, use the video capabilities (seeing someone’s facial expressions can help increase connection)
Check in with your friends and family regularly. Wherever you can, assist people in your life who may be more vulnerable (for example, those with no access to the internet or who cannot easily use the internet to shop online)
Write an email to someone who lives far away, but who you miss.
Write a letter, send a card or postcard.
Reach out to someone you like but haven’t seen in a while.
Consider joining an online forum or Facebook group of people who share your interests.
Stop socializing with those who undermine you, do not empower and support you, or those who you simply do not feel good being around.
Think about how you can interact with others without putting your health (or theirs) at risk. Can you speak to your neighbors from over a fence or across balconies?
Spend the time connecting with the people you are living with. If you are in a lock-down situation, use this time to improve your existing relationships.
Keep in mind that it’s not just family and friends who require support, but others in your community. Showing kindness to others not only helps them but can also increase your sense of purpose and value, improving your own well-being.
Setting boundaries
Remember, sometimes saying no to a social engagement can be self-care. If you have had several Zoom calls with loved ones on your days off or have been taking a lot of calls from others during work, it may be best to reschedule or limit the amount of time you’re spending on calls and video chats. It’s okay and healthy to spend time by yourself and unplug. I know it can be tough to justify because you may feel like others are relying on you for emotional support right now, or maybe you feel obligated but don’t really enjoy the conversation. Whatever the reason it takes away from your energy, it’s OK and you aren’t responsible for anyone’s emotions.